There’s a woman fumbling down a dark hallway. Jesus loves you but I don’t go fuck yourself shirt, not for herself, but for those who count on her. I am here, she whispers into the darkness as she helps her precious ones face another day. There’s a man, up before the sun, packing a lunch and writing a daily note to his child that will be tucked inside. You make me smile, he writes today. There’s a man keeping a bedside vigil in a quiet hospital room. He wants his beloved to see a familiar face when she wakes. I vividly remember sitting in my car waiting for my children to be dismissed from school.
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That entire day I’d felt unsettled as if something was missing, Jesus loves you but I don’t go fuck yourself shirt. When my children ran to the car, I got out unexpectedly and held out my arms. My daughter Avery collapsed into them as if she’d been waiting all day for this. As I held her, it occurred to me what had been missing. Each morning, lost in the hunt for shoes, eyeglasses, and homework was our goodbye hug and kiss. I remember how my older daughter rolled her eyes as if to say she was too mature for such nonsense. But when I hugged her, she relaxed into me and inhaled my scent. She’d been missing the love too, I realized. I thought of this experience recently when a reader of my blog shared this powerful story.