That’s all it took. We were able to rapidly determine our desirability by how often we were approached and how often we were rejected. It was very obvious. I’d give a great deal for a daughter who wasn’t focused on makeup and having clothes in the precise latest fashion for as much money as possible. It is partly temperament. I have never had any interest in makeup. I really love things to be beautiful and I love to look at beautiful people and people who don’t wear makeup are just plain more beautiful. I rarely see someone with makeup on who looks better than they would without it or even as good as they would look. This may be personal taste but it is the honest truth. So much of fashion today is really aesthetically unappealing. And you’re absolutely correct that most of the makeup sold is extremely bad for your skin and could give you all sorts of problems, including eventual skin cancer. That said, my daughter loves makeup and is obsessed with clothes. She’ll probably suffer terribly in high school because her mother will be the uncoolest person in town, with no makeup, no heels and so forth. I do have sympathy but each person has to live their own. I’ll try to make sure the makeup she wears is the least toxic kind and I’ll try not to show that I think her taste is weird, because she doesn’t need that kind of pressure.
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But I have to admit that there is a little part of me deep down that’s just sad, because I’d love to share what I see as beauty with my daughter. I’d love to be closer and have more in common. I’d also love for her to see all the wonderful and interesting things there are in life beyond appearances. I wonder if your mother is partly just sad deep down because she wants to be able to share things that she loves with you. Maybe she just really enjoys makeup and dressing up and all that and misses sharing it with you. It’s always possible that she also has issues where she thinks that your appearance reflects socially on her. Many mothers today are part of this social rat race where status is determined by all sorts of things, including how perfect their kids look from the outside. And generally the people involved in this have very pop-culture, media-hype inspired beauty standards, so they aren’t likely to realize that you do look perfect from the outside. It’s also possible that some of her motivation is less altruistic – the desire to have her own social status and self-confidence boosted by having her daughter look just so. But either way these are very human desires and not mean or hateful. They are something you can talk about and try to work out.